Ranting...Again

Hm well heey guys. Haven't talked to ya'll in a while. Not really. Whatever.

So lately I've been bored and lonely, but strangely I don't have much time. Have you ever been in that situation? Like you seriously want better stuff to do, but at the end of the day you still end up tired and sleepy. I dunno, maybe it's just me? D:

Anyways. I've been wasting my life currently reading Harry Potter. I know I have high school summer reading assignments, but I always procrastinate. And actually, I think it's a pretty good strategy. Like if you read your books super early in the summer, then you'll forget most of it by the time school starts. And then you'll fail the test, unless you re-read it, which is what most of my friends are doing. I'M not gonna re-read the frickin' books...but I WILL annotate them. Especially towards the end of the summer, which is almost when school starts, so I'll remember the whole thing! :D

I just recently finished Harry Potter #6, and started Harry Potter #7. I read the end of the last one, and..I dunno..maybe because I haven't read the whole middle of the book yet, just the beginning and the end, but to me it seems kind of abrupt. Like he beat Voldemort at the end in some logical thing...and Voldemort's curse backfires on himself...and then it fastforwards to when all the kids are all grownup and married and have kids. I dunno...it should have elaborated on like, their sorrows, and their happiness...

Argh I'm going crazy. I think it IS 'cause I skipped the middle of the book. But that's usually how I read them! I get bored towards the middle, so I skim through most of the book and read the ending. Then I go back to where I stopped reading, and start again. :/ It ruins the book, and it makes me read super slowly..but I can't stop this bad habit.

Hm anyways next. I realized an important thing about myself.  So like...you know how I was looking forward to Summer School a lot, and then my "hopes and dreams" were crushed by not being able to go?

Not really that dramatic, but that happens a lot of times. Like..I had a birthday party, and I was looking to it a lot, since it was my first one, but then it turned out to be really...boring. :( (A lot of my life is consumed by boredom...is that bad?)

Well I realized that I always look forward to stuff too much. I'll be super excited, and then I get letdown. Hm I guess I just hope for too much. Maybe I should like...have a super pessimistic outlook on life, and look forward to the worst, so then I'll never be disappointed.

Aw but then life's no fun! Maybe I'm always disappointed because of my optimistic outlook on life. :D And, of course, my modesty. *Cough.* :)

Hope

Today I just read an article about these two girls in Pennsylvania who made a pact to suicide together....So they hugged each other and died together by getting hit by one of those top-speed trains.

There were 3 girls who made the suicide pact, but one chickened out at the end. And now her two best friends are dead, so....i feel really sorry for her.

I feel really sorry for EVERYONE, actually. All the people that knew these two dead girls are probably crying their hearts out because...well, 1. they're dead, and 2. these girls PLANNED IT. TOGETHER. And no one could stop them!

The article said that judging by their texts, they were planning what days to cut class and go to the railroad track...And they obviously had to plan it, since the track was 2 miles away and they walked there, and just as they got there the train was coming.

I think that's really sad..I mean, one was going to turn 16 like the next week, and they were both really popular and pretty..what on earth would make them want to kill themselves?

However, I also think it's really selfish of them to kill themselves when they have a lot of stuff other girls don't. People are jealous of them, but most of all, people love them. Like their parents. And friends. And siblings.

You know, their death doesn't affect only themselves. If they're seriously in depression, they should go get a counselor or something. Or at least talk to someone that could help. Because their dying really hurts everyone else, and even though they've escaped life and its pains and stuff, the other people haven't. In fact, those girls just gave everyone else that they knew MORE pain in life.

I'm sorry for sounding so blunt and feeling-less, but...I dunno if it's just me, but I think that...even if you see no more point in life anymore, you should still try to live and smile each day. Because other people are counting on you. And letting them down, on top of you dying, is like...getting stabbed and then killed, and then brought back alive to get stabbed and killed again.

So therefore, you should always have some sort of hope for the future. It's almost impossible for that to be extinguished..and even if you have no hope for yourself, you can always have hope for others.