Good Intentions

Hello. :) Another rant today. If you're tired of these, then don't read. It won't be too long though.

Ok so since I'm in high school now, I get home early, and pretty much 15 minutes into my homework the elementary school gets out, and almost EVERY DAY I see these 3 brothers walking home together. There's one older one, and I think the younger 2 are twins? I don't know.

But every time I see them walk by, I just wanna cry, because I realize that I am a REALLY BAD SISTER to..my sister. I don't know if that big brother acts so nice to his little bros all the time ('cause that'd be a frickin' miracle), but every time I see them together, he's SO caring for them.

Like one time one of the younger ones couldn't get his backpack zipped up, and he was lagging behind, so the older brother ran back to help him. D: I mean, I'd do that, too for my sis, but I don't think I could've done it so willingly with like..no annoyance at her.

And then another day they were all laughing together, and I was like...SHIZZ. 'Cause I felt SO guilty. (It's not that I don't laugh with my sister, but when those kids do it, it's kind of like...like they have no worries in the world, and the little kids are all like, "aw, my life's ok. I have a big brother to deal with it all! :)"

I don't know. That's just what I see from my point of view. And I'm not super MEAN to my sister, but I guess sometimes I just take her for granted, and other times I get really mad..but it's not like I cuss her out or hit her or anything. o.o That's like...sibling abuse.

But still. Everytime I try to do something nice for her, it's with good intentions. (Haha see what I did there? ;D) But most of the time I do something wrong or she doesn't like it or whatever, and then we start arguing. But then we forgive each other, and it happens all again, so.. hm...

I dunno. I just want my sister and I to be really close when she gets older, because the truth is, when we're adults (if we live that long) the closest thing I'll ever have is her. So...I mean..I gotta build up to that, you know?

Anyways. Sorry for the rant? I just had to get this off my chest...shoulders..whatever. Hopefully those of you who have siblings know what I'm talking about, too?